I have been following a fashion guru that has left me feeling high and dry. I have been trying to understand and grasp this person's ideas for over five years and trying to figure out where I fit in her system. My son has called it my mid-life crisis. Maybe it is. It is time for me to be in harmony with....well...me. I feel like there is something bigger going on. Maybe the clock ticking is really the root of it all. I know clothing really won't give the ultimate direction, but maybe it is a start. However, I simply don't think any one person can fit in a box and fit into any one preconceived notions on where a woman should fall. We are all so different, there would have to be a box for each person on the planet to fit in to individually.

It is rather sad that I have spent so much time, trying to figure out where I fit. It seems I am not alone in my thinking or frustration. So why have I been at it for so long? Well, I think because every woman wants to belong somewhere and have that sense of community. With our busy lives raising littles, taking care of our spouses, or working outside of the home, we really don't have much time left in the day for the bond of community, much less ourselves.

I have indeed met some wonderful women within this program and I can call that a plus, but it still leaves you feeling like you wasted so much time and energy trying to figure it all out. Most of us I feel are searching for that elusive bit of who we used to be~before bills, shopping, making meals, cleaning messes. We are there still, just buried beneath all the rubble. Oh how lovely to be able to clear the debris away and see what is at the heart of each of us.

Yet, does it really matter? We have each walked a path that was meant for us alone. We made decisions along the way that shaped who we are. It isn't all roses and butterflies, but even the rock slides along the way brought us to where we are at this moment. This perfect moment in time.

I am 46. I am a wife and a Mom, but I am still me. I have wisdom sprinkles in my hair. I have wrinkles and the beginning of sagging skin. I am still me though. I am no longer a size two and that is okay. I have a full life. I have a family who loves me and friends who make me laugh on a daily basis. I am blessed. I am me.